How the 5 Love Languages can transform your relationship

Have you ever felt like you are your partner just aren’t on the same page? It’s the same conversations or disagreements over and over again.

No matter how many times you have tried to explain how you feel about something, they say they understand but then it happens again. It’s like you’re speaking 2 different languages! One speaking English, the other speaking French.

Well, there’s a reason for that.

Enter in, the Love Languages.
The Love Languages is a concept created by Gary Chapman in 1992 and since then his book has sold over 11 million copies and been translated into 49 different languages.

The idea is that there is 5 different ways that we feel and express love. What you will find is that you have 1 or 2 preferred ways out of the 5 , but the difficult part comes in when you and your partner differ in your top selections - or, languages.
If you like to listen to podcasts, you can deep dive into the Love Languages episode I have here.

Let’s look at what they are and how this can help you and your partner to upgrade your relationship. As you are reading through each, relate them to yourself fist.

Words of affirmation

People who value words of affirmation in their relationships love appreciation and encouragement. They value people who actively listen. They feel good when receiving things like un-expected compliments, text messages or cards/letters.

Physical touch

People who value physical touch in their relationships show and receive love with things like kissing, cuddling and being close to their partner. They feel good when their partner uses non-verbal body language to show affection.

Receiving gifts

People who value receiving gifts highly in their relationships love to get thoughtful gifts. They value thoughtfulness, their partner remembering special occasions and feeling like they are a priority.

Quality time

People who value quality time in their relationships enjoy one on one time and un-interrupted conversations. They love to create special memories and small things can make a big difference.

Acts of service

People who value acts of service in their relationships love when their partner wants to help. It could be anything from helping with the household chores to a surprise breakfast in bed or cleaning their car.

Now that you know the 5 different languages - which is your top 1 or 2?
Now consider how you can communicate to your partner the things that really make you feel special.

If your top pick is physical touch and your partner thinks they are showing you love by bringing home bunches of flowers and blocks of chocolate from the shops, you might not be on the same page with how you both receive love. Your partner thinks they are doing something nice and showing their love for you, but all you want it a hug on the lounge while watching your favourite TV show to wind down for the night.

Open the discussion up with your partner. Find out what their top love language is as well so that you know how to better communicate your love with them so they feel loved in return.