How to reduce conflict in your relationship

Conflict is something that comes up in every relationship. Whether that be romantic relationships, friendships and family. But does it gave to be a bad thing?

As with everything in life, there is strengths and weaknesses. Conflict in our relationship can be very healthy and bring about awareness of different sides in opinion. It can facilitate growth and change. You can have positive conflict which produces new ideas, can solve problems and respect of each others’ opinions.

On the other hand it can also be a source of disagreements, stress and anxiety in a relationship which can take a toll on both parties emotions. It can become repetitive and non-solution based.

I was listening to one of Nick Broadhurst’s podcasts and something really stuck with me as a tool to work through conflict in a relationship that I want to share with you. This one sentence that can change the way you perceive conflict in your relationship forever:

Nothing good comes from closing.

So what does this mean and how can you implement this as a tool in your relationships?

What happens if you consider how you feel physically and emotionally when you are being ‘closed’. Someone has said something to you that you don’t agree with and your feelings are hurt. You withdraw. What is the impact of this withdrawing on your behaviour and how you act? How does this also impact the other person?

This closing off in a conflict can cause it to escalate or draw out for longer than necessary without really coming to a solution or productively communicating how you are actually feeling. The ideal solution of any conflict is to be able to effectively voice your opinion and also your feelings whilst being heard and respected. Can this really happen if you are being closed?

The next time conflict comes up for you, remember the sentence. Keep in mind – ‘Nothing good is going to come from me closing.’ Or, ‘How can I be more open here?’ and see how it can change your reactions or behaviours.

You can even take it one step further and share this concept with your partner. Utilise it together to create strong communication and the opportunity for growth together.